So being that I have a morbid fascination with over-analyzing and frequently battle with self doubt, things such as recognizing and owning my purpose in life can be very difficult. Nothing is worse (in my opinion) than getting to a place in your life where you have absolutely no idea what you want to do next in regards to most things in your life and not knowing how to escape that frustrating place. A few hours ago I found myself in my room contemplating “what’s next, Kim” trying to find answers but to no avail as per usual but finally I couldn’t take it much longer. The difference in today vs any other day is that I finally succumbed to the voice in my head (no i’m not psycho) and let my heart lead my actions. Now usually I would spend time thinking about my purpose in life, do personality quizzes to give me a better ideas but still end up with no clue. All along the voice in my head had been telling me to “pray about it” but I would always brush it off and tell myself it wasn’t that “serious” to call upon God. Before you go any further I don’t want anyone to feel as though i’m the most dedicated and sanctified Christian because I am absolutely not & in all honesty i’m just beginning my “TRUE WALK” in Christianity. However recently I’ve been trying to build a better relationship with God so that I can truly experience the life he has in store for me. Anyway, today I remembered a screenshot I took of a picture on Instagram and pulled it up in hopes that it would serve as some sort of guide to help me through this situation.
Ironically the very first line addresses someone who “can’t figure it out” whatever “it” may be and provides the location of a scripture for you to read. In the provided text it says: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” That small passage alone automatically comforted me and helped eliminate every ounce of self doubt that I’ve ever had about the situation. Not sure about anyone else but there is nothing more comforting than knowing someone else is on my team to walk alongside me. I’m sure many are wondering why I chose that idiom “CROSSING A RIVER TO GET WATER” in the title but it fits perfectly because so many times we decide to go about finding solutions in complicated ways and wonder why they are to no avail. Although this just happened I am now rid of the self-doubt and confusion that comes along with not knowing because I understand that once I pray, stay focused and never doubt Him i’ll never be lost and confused again. Crossing the river to get water is what I have spent so much time doing and what many others do to because we feel as though we can and will “figure it out” on our own not understanding that we have the perfect mentor and guide waiting to comfort and lead us so we never have to feel that way again.
Bottom line is life isn’t easy and none of us are perfect (obvious by my Social Media I am not) but it makes it that much harder when we go about things the hard way and don’t ask Him for guidance rather than trying to figure it all out ourselves. If we could do it all and know everything then there would be no such worries or problems but we can’t so sometimes we have to listen to that voice, pay attention to those signs and have faith it’ll get better. Hope this helps someone!